Sunday, 30 January 2011

We heart it

These's this little girl. A girl with reddish-brown hair and big glasses. Sometimes she wears floral dresses and brightly colored tights. At other times she wears tight jeans, large t-shitrs and big sweaters. She walks around in black converse shoes. She likes hats and her fingernails tend to be either red, green, blue or black. Sometimes even pink. Even though she's not found of that color. But variety is key.

This small-in-height girl is fascinated by cute cafés and second-hand, vintage stores. Even though she doesn't go there often. She just wishes she could. That's another thing she likes. Wishing. And daydreaming. Dreaming about the future. What she wants to do in her life.
Drawing and painting is her passion. Photography is a recently discovered talent too. She enjoys reading, but only for amusement. If she's obliged to, she probably won't do it.

Sport is not her thing. Unless it's for the health. She's longing to be thin. Not like a deathly anorexic supermodel. Not like the skinny girl she met two weeks ago. Just...thinner. What made her feel pressured to be like that? Sometimes she gets scared. Scared because this feeling is getting way over her head. She's becoming quite anxious abot this. Always feeling her shoulders and her ribs. She has to know they're noticeable under all the fat. Then she knows she's on the right track to her desired weight. Feeling the bones on her shoulder sticking out a little. That makes her happy. Sort of. But it also makes her feel sick. And she doesn't want to be sick. She's been through enough of sickness in her life. Now she wants to be healthy. And beautiful.

She wants a tattoo. A tattoo of a flower. Either on her wrist or her ankle. Which of those places hurts the least? She's not a fan of too much pain.

She wants to cut her hair short. Like a boy. Not that she wants to be a boy though. Just to have short hair. Like a boy's hair. But she's afraid people won't like it. Do guys like short hair on girls?

She wants to become better at playing the guitar. She wants to be good at singing. Which she probably never will be. She wants to learn to dance. She wants to be happy.

She wants a lot of things for her life. But most of all, she wants to be accepted.
She wants to be loved, for exactly who she is.

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